Our NYE NYC trip!

I'm pressing pause here to write a bit about our trip to NYC before our ordinary days pull me too far downstream. And that happens pretty quickly. In fact, I find that actual happenings in my life almost never get blogged. I write about thoughts mostly. Things I've learned. Things I'm mulling over. But those actual real life details are tough to make happen AND then also make happen on the blog. So here goes...

NEW YORK CITY!!!

  
Paul surprised me on Christmas with an already set-up (I didn't have to worry about care for the kids or flights or hotel rooms) trip to NYC for New Year's Eve plus a few days which ended on my birthday (which he and my mother-in-law pre-planned as a day for Paul and I to enjoy at home alone). There is only 1 type of surprise I like and that's adventure surprises. I was so shocked and excited & I still am actually. Paul really went big this time.

I absolutely love how magical the new year feels.  NYE is my very favorite. I just love the promise of a new year. I love thinking back on all the things that happened in the year that's closing and all the things ahead that will happen-- some because I'll be hustling and working hard for them, and others because life surprises us in sprinkles and splashes.

And that timing of NYC + brand new year was the greatest aspect of this trip. For a dreamer and a planner like me, being in NYC at the very beginning of a new year was so extraordinarily special. Paul and I had time to reconnect and make memories together and enjoy each other before tackling another full year.  I spent time on the plane looking out at white puffs of clouds thinking about all things 2015--house improvements, hemophilia scares, homeschooling, and me leaning into my 30's...among many, many other things.  I spent time early in the morning at our hotel writing in my journal and listening to the city outside our window and thinking about 2016. In some ways, for my bigger yes. In others, in quiet awe of the things I just can't know about yet.

When we landed and got in a cab, the city was just starting to close streets for the NYE party down on Time Square (where our hotel was). So we climbed out of the cab right into thousands of people walking all over streets. Literally on the streets because there were several streets only open to foot traffic at that point. Pulling our luggage through the throngs of people from all over the world---that will always be one of my favorite travel memories ever. The energy was visceral. It was pulsing. And even though that was NYE and so it was amped up a bit, that's how NYC felt to me the whole time. Big. Exciting. Energetic. Electric.

I love traveling. I love going away and coming back, new. Changed. No one else can see it, but you know it like a tiny golden secret. Forever with a bit of your heart tattooed in the shape of a far away city. New York City surprised me. It didn't feel rude or pushy or overwhelming or snobby--not sure why that's what I expected. It felt like an open door. A happy place. A space for everyone. This was my favorite thing about the city. It's so special because of the nature of things, the history, the physical layout. It's welcoming more than anything else I can put to words. And once you're in, you feel absolutely alive!

Walking through Central Park. <swoon> How a park (in the dead of winter mind you) can be so wonderful, I just don't understand. Parks, the outdoors, places with trees...that's my thing. But I've never ever been to a space like Central Park. There is something truly special about it. I love how the skyscrapers line up like guardians on all sides of the park. I love how much people connect there. Runners. Bikers. Walkers. Tourists. Residents. Casual walkers. Loud talkers. Thinkers. Photo-takers. Coffee drinkers. Health nuts. Conversations over here and there and behind you and whizzing past you. Everywhere you look, there's more to see and take in. If you twisted my arm and asked me for the #1 thing you can't miss in NYC, I would say it's Central Park. I really hope we will get to take our kids there someday so I can share it with them too!

Something Paul and I have really loved when we've traveled is visiting with people we love who live nearby. It's such a great way to tie together the roots of our ordinary lives with the excitement of a new city. And once again, we were able to do that. Our friend, Amanda, (whose husband, Preston, works with Paul) was celebrating her 30th & they invited us to join for a big family style dinner with her long time friends (and no surprise she has lots--Amanda is the sweetest) and spouses / sig. others. That was such a fun night! It was our last night in the city and we partied accordingly. Paul said we got back to the hotel at 2:30 in the morning, so translated to mommy of three small children...that's like 8 in the morning.

Okay. Let me just throw out some other stuff we did really really quick because I'm losing you at this point...

+  9/11 Memorial -- Very moving. Must see. They've done a beautiful job.  It's very intimate and respectful and something that just needs to be visited. Also, the new Freedom Tower is so freakishly tall. I could not look up at it without getting dizzy. Do I sound like I'm from a small town or what?

+ Comedy Cellar -- Easily, easily most I've ever laughed in my life. Awesome well-known comedians. We got seated right in the front. This was something I wanted to do so badly, and I'm so glad I made sure we went.

+ Les Halles -- I wouldn't say I was blown away by the food in NYC like I was in Charleston, SC (the food there---life!), but I had a meal at Les Halles that was the most balanced, beautiful dish I think I've ever had. It was some sort of fish on a bed of ratatouille with lobster sauce.

+ Uber driver chats -- Thank goodness for Uber! Cheap, efficient way to get around the city. And I loved the conversations we had with the drivers... except the sexist Russian. That was awkward. (Paul kept me away from the subway, so I never got to see that pizza rat that went viral or undercover famous musicians dressed up like hobos that I'm just sure were down there waiting for me to spot them. I also didn't get interviewed by HONY, so you can really see how my NYC trip was far less than perfect. ;)

+ MOMA -- [Museum of Modern Art] -- I love a good art museum and this really had me feeling all the feels--and on the 1st day of the new year no less. Except for the super contemporary stuff. That had me feeling like a really confused 5th grader who wasn't paying attention in class and just got called on. There were a few pieces that Paul and I were just like "mmm, no" to. Paul loved the Picasso stuff. I loved all the stuff, even the stuff I scratched my head at. We both loved Pollock. I took a ton of photos for what reason I do not know. I think I got called a beach (alternate pronunciation) because I took too long staring at Starry Night which was much different than what I thought it would be.

+ Chelsea Market -- Foodie heaven! Lots and lots of shops that satisfy the appetite. I've never actually wished I would have overeaten except for when we left Chelsea Market...because there were just so many awesome things to try. We didn't overeat though at all. We ate a taco and a danish. First time I can say I felt like Scarlett O'Hara at the picnic undereating so as not to look like a pig. What a loss.

+ The High Line -- Elevated railway turned park. Pretty cool. Not a must see. Or, maybe a must see if you were there on a warmer day and/or you were also going to see the Whitney...which we would have totally done (yes, even though we had already spent two and a half hours at MOMA) if we would have had more time.

+ The NYE ball -- We didn't actually do the real deal down in Time Square squished in tight with people who keep bumping into me and I've been standing here for six hours but can't get to a bathroom so I just peed myself party, but it didn't matter much. We did hang out on the streets for a while. The ball was in sight from our hotel and it's really pretty in person (even though it looks really far away and just white in the photos) but then we mostly just had a blast partying out at the hotel bar and talking to people and feeling sorry for the suckers out on the streets. I passed out thirty minutes before the ball drop in true mom fashion of which Paul caught on camera and will never let me live down... as he shouldn't. Still so much fun!

+ Walking through the city -- It's the in between sometimes that sticks out in my mind most about travel.  When Paul and I walked through residential streets in Santa Barbara. When we walked an entire square around Charleston--whoops. And this time, when we walked in the cold and windy streets of NYC at night because I thought it would be a fun way to kill time before the comedy club and Paul and I had walked so much already we had to stop at a CVS and get him shoe inserts... it's that unexpected normal stuff that I love so much. It's not on the itinerary. It's just what happens and it's awesome. Especially when it's just walking through a city and feeling wonderfully out of place together.

+ Mass celebrated by Cardinal Dolan at St. Patrick's -- I didn't actually let tears fall from my face because I looked around and everyone else seemed to be playing it cool, but guys... it is just so beautiful there. The grandeur is just intense. I will always treasure that. I've always had these emotional pricks in the communion line shuffling up in humility and awe to Christ. Whether it be in the church I was raised in when I was younger or the church we go to now, toddler on hip and nudging Thomas forward, and all those we've been to in between. In those moments I'm thinking about how we are all welcome to walk forward and receive Christ. Sinners. Hopers. Those lost. Those hurt. Those happy. Those looking and longing. Those in need of daily bread. As I walk forward I have this massive (albeit temporary) ripping open in my heart thinking of people from all around the world walking forward, bringing what they have and what they need to that altar, to that reception. But to feel that communion in St. Patrick's. It just hit me so hard and I will never, ever so long as I live forget it. Also, I heart Cardinal Dolan.

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We are so grateful that our parents (both sets) have been generous and gracious with us, that they've watched our kids so that we could take trips away. We are excited to take lots of trips with the boys more and more as they get older. But this season the past couple years, post twins... I'll keep this discreet, but suffice it to say it is much needed and even more appreciated that our parents have helped us make special trips away happen so we can reconnect and feel grounded and make special memories together just the two of us.  It's a radical act to cut into life as a whole family and run off with your spouse, but I think it takes some radical acts sometimes to do what's right for your family and every family is so unique in what that looks like. This trip away blessed and reinvigorated our relationship so much. I'm deeply grateful.  I'm also glad to be back home amidst our ordinary days and doing all that normal work at home loving on these guys, making small things special right here  moment by moment and day by day.

The Year of a Bigger Yes

Last year I turned 30. My mortality tapped me on the shoulder, it shook me from my slumber. I can't do or be all the things (or even think I'm going to--even more noteworthy), and that's ok.  It's humbling. But there's freedom there in seeing things just as they are too.

This year, I want to run with that.

2016 is my year of a bigger yes.

I'm recommitting. I'm doubling down. I'm digging deep right exactly where my feet stand.

+  Seven and a half years ago I held Paul's hands and vowed to love and care for him. I was young and stupid. I didn't know what that meant. I loved an idea of him. But now I love him and learn more about him each year.

+  Five years ago we bought this house. We are happy and grateful every day for this space (and so close to being done with the process of a refi to a 15 year term--woohoo!).

+ Six years ago Thomas made me a brand new mom & two years ago Alistair & Emerick cried side by side for me in the hospital room and my heart both times said, "yes, thank you, yes."

+ Three years ago, I decided to be a stay at home mom--to better meet our family's needs. Three years, wow. It's been very difficult and also very rewarding. It's the right choice for us, but that doesn't mean it comes easy or natural.

+ Last year, we eagerly (and a bit nervously too) began homeschooling...and it's been huge. Huge. It is our happy place. I have big plans. There's no lid on my joy anymore.

These are big things I've said yes to. There are lots of little things too. Like the way it matters to me that my body is in the shape that feels right. That I paint and write and take walks and think in the dark early of the morning. That I invite people in. That I travel and push myself in things that I've never done before. That I finish tasks completely, with excellence. That I read and write a lot.

Oh, and one not little at all thing too but that I tend to not write much of here. That my yes to Christ is a big yes even after all these years (16-ish) and all the turning over and through of good and bad, of dark and light since my confirmation. 

What does our big yes look like in the little moments? When we are scrubbing the toilet or making the bed.  When we discipline the child or welcome home our husband. When we are serving dinner or getting dressed for the day. When we do wake up early for some some time to ourselves but it's so tempting to scroll through a feed or three on the phone. When we read aloud. When we play with our kids. When we work. When we listen.

I'm happy where I'm at at 31. If more gets added to my plate or things change, that's cool. But just as things are...I feel truly blessed. I bumbled my way through and yet come out the other side of my 20's in a place I dreamed to be.

But dreams aren't scooped up and preserved with one yes.  I have work, work, work, work, work and more work to do.  This year is about me doing that work.  And I'm pretty pumped!

Bits & Pieces : homeschooling thoughts beyond the curriculum

I said in a previous post (about what resources we've been using for homeschooling our kindergartner) that I had some other things I wanted to share.

I'm unpacking my thoughts in bits and pieces. Nothing profound here. Just things I'm thinking and working on a lot lately.

+ As a new homeschool parent, balance is tricky. I need to keep up the house. I need to make sure the kids are getting the best possible (while also reasonable) educational experience. I need to take care of myself. I want to keep cooking awesome stuff and spending a bit of time exercising and enjoying my time with Paul.  Here's sorta how I've managed to pin it down...

+ My mornings (except Wednesday) are blocked off for my top priorities: housekeeping & homeschool.  What I have found in the past three months that works best is this sort of weaving of the two threads.  I don't have Thomas sit for hours until he is finished with schoolwork. I do it in short bursts of quality one-on-one time in between cleaning. Our morning looks something like this: We eat breakfast.  Then I clean a bit. I put away clean dishes while the boys play for a moment. Then we all sit with books and I read a couple chapters out loud (or picture books if I'm reading the crowd and the crowd is already loud at 7:30 a.m.).  Then I will get up and make my bed and clean the bathroom and start some laundry. Then I will teach Thomas a lesson. Then I will do more cleaning.  Then I will teach Thomas or the boys some more.  Then maybe snacks or cooking of some kind.  Then another school lesson or activity. This is not exact clockwork. It's just essentially housework, then homeschool, then housework, then homeschool... And on and on until lunch. It literally feels like I'm braiding two cords together. I'm hoping that makes since to someone.

+ What do we really want to teach? I'm very passionate and knowledgeable about the academic portion of education, but now I keep thinking about everything else. And here the distinction between a homeschooling parent and any other parent completely dissipates. But I have to ask myself--That's great if you know something, but what can you do? That question. Or this one--That's great if you know something, but what good is it without character? It's not either/or. We have to teach both. I'm just thinking that we get it wrong often in thinking much more of the academic portion of learning (and where we send or keep our kids to learn) than we do all the other things we should be teaching: morality, work ethic, integrity, service, and so forth.

It doesn't matter how awesome the "schooling" is, or honestly, to some degree, how mediocre, or where it is taking place.  Knowledge has little place to land and take root without that foundation of gratitude and hard work and self-awareness and empathy for others.  When I was in the public school system it was those students with that maturity and character development from their home life whom I would look at and think that when it all washed out (those ways in which we measure learning in schools), it wouldn't matter what grades those students received.  They had all the tools they would need and when they bumped up or against their needs or jobs or discovered missions as adults, they would bring forth and bring to themselves all the "knowledge" they would need specifically because of that foundation of everything else that can't be measured by tests but only fed by an abundance of intentionality, nurturing, discipline, direction and love on the part of parents.

+ I'm very grateful for this. I'm glad we are here, that we are homeschooling.  I'm blessed at this time and place in my life that the way in which I'm providing for my family is the very same thing that endlessly feeds me.  I love all things teaching and learning. I always, always have.  Teaching looks different for me now than when I was teaching teenagers (and I do miss those teenagers!), but I have so much experience and passion to pull from.  I have very practical knowledge to use as well.

I think we should all be able to enjoy that feeling of being really good at something.  I've worked so hard at becoming good at housekeeping... It's a slow and steady uphill battle for me. But to be teaching again! It literally feels like a breath of fresh air every day.  I know little tricks for when Thomas is stuck or how to take a lesson and put a spin on it.  I have oodles of content knowledge and I have sober memories when I taught more than let students learn... and so I keep that in my heart and mind as well.

+ Drawing on our why. Earlier this year, I wrote down ten reasons we wanted to homeschool. Six had nothing to do with academics.  I'm glad I took the time to do that.  Comparing our school to a brick and mortar is like comparing apples to oranges. We have different aims. I won't shy away from sharing with you that I think we (our culture at large) are getting some things very wrong with early education.

Let them play. Let them pretend they've got guns. Let them stare and dig in dirt and run around. We are taking academic disappointments in America and running those fears into the way we teach small children.  I see parents panicking about preschools and maybe this is because most of us are full time working mommies now.  But c'mon people. Where is the common sense? Have you watched a child learn? Have you led them to a clean room with books and crayons and coloring paper nearby?  Why do we insist on the ridiculous demands on small children?

Maybe it's not actually happening at the school you send your children, but it is increasingly all too common. Ridiculous PC nonsense. Fights from parents for just slivers of recess. Upped and upped pressure on kindergartners to read (even though the research has again and again and again and again shown that this is a crap approach).  Loads of homework going home this very afternoon with kids who should be going home to play and sit with mom and talk to dad over dinner and not be thinking about more math.

Whew. I could just not ever stop on this one.  Anyway, yeah. Six of our reasons (mind you--for a kindergartner only) had nothing to do with academics and I still feel just exactly like that way. This isn't to say we aren't doing some rigorous, high quality things with the academic portion. It's just that when I'm watching Thomas read to the twins or make lunch with me or build Legos or putz around the backyard, I can't help but think I'm nearly fighting for that margin in his life right now because it is one of those things I feel immensely passionate and super convicted about.

Okay, I'll stop there. Maybe more later.

Chat with me in the comments.  You know you know you know I love chatting about this stuff.

And sorry for the grammatical errors. I wrote this in a rush and Thomas is up from a nap and asking me questions about termites now.

Also, Thomas recited a wee poem. Here's the video if you're into that sort of thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uuo036mD6PI

Home to Me

Home. It's nearly my whole world (and especially so since I started staying at home when the twins were born). Paul and I have been building up our home in bits, whether in the duplex we started in when newly married or the ranch style house we bought almost 5 years ago. I have much to be grateful for and too much to say.  The following I'm sharing with you is little bits and pieces, notes and highlights of our happy home strung together day after day, year after year, moment to moment. Come on in and sit. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and imagine it was really me. 

xoxox,

Ash

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Home is comfort. Warm mugs of tea. Soft blankets for cuddling on the couch with the kids. Bowls of soup familiar. Cold winter nights, dark enveloping us early. Dim lights and soft music. Candle flickering, encouraging me to keep bright my own flame.

Home is loud.  Saturday family dance parties to Metallica (+orchestra) songs. Three small boys shooting invisible guns and roaring their lion jaws.  Paul stomping in to tackle & tickle & destroy. Music streaming through all the speakers: Taylor Swift singing us through pick up time.

Home is humble. Popcorn ceilings and blinds to be replaced---someday. Tiny fingerprints on the windows & a dining table with happy scars from lingering meals with loved ones. Our things made beautiful by our use of them. This is no museum home. This is the real thing. Wooden floors that know our dancing feet. Walls that listen in on our reading voices.  A counter that has held a thousand meals. 

Home is intimate.  Vulnerability lays her head here with us. We are challenged & split open. Spilled milk. Long days. Whiny kids. Disappointing each other & saying sorry & trying again and again to love with our hands pouring coffee and setting the table. This family here--we know, we see each other & ourselves--this is our chance to come to harbor & drop anchor only to be shaken on shore just as we were rocked at sea, to get so close that we can't help but understand more, know more, to see truth and set pain free. 

Home is color.  Vibrant children's book illustrations. A heap of just clean laundry on the dining table. Thomas's watercolor paintings & the mess of toys at my feet. And the food! Red peppers slices and green beans snapped by little hands. Muddy faces and green leaves to stare up into and through on warm summer days. Sparkly eye shadow applied with stolen moments from kids. Pumpkin bread, butter melting, on a crisp fall day. 

Home is creativity. Blank canvas propped on the easel. Long financial conversations for us to come together & think big. Little routines & habits built daily by intention. Family values set to work in real time. A new recipe posted to the fridge for Saturday. Making a simple dinner from bits of things found in the fridge--and somehow, by magic... by love, feels special all the same. 

Home is school. Textbooks marked with bright post-its for tomorrow's lessons. A school basket stuffed with exciting things to learn. Math manipulatives lined up on the kitchen counter while I cook just three feet away. Sharp pencils, eager & ready. Broken crayons. And books everywhere, everywhere, everywhere.  Words lift up off the page and make us laugh, make us think, make us know. We savor all those things in books like little threads of gold weaving into our hearts & minds. But then we get up off the couch & off the floor & learn by doing. Our life is our school. We touch truth in the physical. In crawling caterpillars and bark peeled, in awkward conversations with neighbors and the hateful kid at the Y.  How to measure flour and clean a toilet well and fold socks into each other and the time it takes for the cupcakes to bake.  

Home is renewal.  Clean sheets. Sunday naps. Sitting in one of our big chairs just to simply sit and be silent.  Nights of vegging out with Netflix, slow mornings with pancakes, laughing (coffee cups in hand) at the funny things the kids are doing. Hot showers for thinking & resetting. Thick socks. Lotion pressed into cracked feet & clean clothes ready to face another day to be filled in with little, colorful notes of pride in hard work and gratitude for good things. 

Home is happy.  Memories of years past twinkling on the Christmas tree.  Happy heart ache for small bodies quickly growing out of clothes.  Leaning into just being & letting things be.  Cooking side by side and remembering all those other times aproned up and arguing, making too much & cooking big & loving it.  Board games. Lifted glasses. Feet intertwined under table while we talk with our eyes and ignore just a little the kids surrounding us from every reach. 

Home is goodness. Interruptions that pierce selfishness. More water for little mouths. A bowl completely full of eggshells and still not enough. Clothing the naked (all the time naked). Wiping tears. Listening carefully. Choosing peace, building it up. Pouring on the grace & giving space for ugly, bumbling growth. Praying for our daily bread. Loving as Christ urged--because even though I've said yes to these people, they are still imperfect and hurting and hoping like me. Fully loving them and not just in beautiful aims but hard won small acts of service is a daily yes, an hourly yes, a constant yes to love in ways I didn't think I was capable of before, in ways I wasn't capable of before.  Home is the sacred place opened up to me, door wide- a gritty real, a beautiful domestic, a humble space to dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. 

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This post is part of the “Home to Me” blog hop, hosted by Julie Walsh of These Walls. During the two weeks from Friday, November 13 through Thanksgiving Day, more than a dozen bloggers will share about what the concept of “home” means to them. “Home” can been elusive or steady. It can be found in unexpected places. It is sought and cherished and mourned. It is wrapped up in the people we love. As we turn our minds and hearts toward home at the beginning of this holiday season, please visit the following blogs to explore where/what/who is “Home to Me.”

November 13 – Julie @ These Walls

November 14 – Leslie @ Life in Every Limb

November 16 – Rita @ Open Window

November 17 – Svenja, guest posting @ These Walls

November 18 – Anna @ The Heart’s Overflow

November 19 – Debbie @ Saints 365

November 20 – Melissa @ Stories My Children Are Tired of Hearing

November 21 – Amanda @ In Earthen Vessels

November 22 – Daja and Kristina @ The Provision Room

November 23 – Emily @ Raising Barnes

November 24 – Annie @ Catholic Wife, Catholic Life

November 25 – Nell @ Whole Parenting Family

November 26 – Geena @ Love the Harringtons

Homeschool Notes: Year 1, Week 12

We are in our 12th week of our first year of homeschooling.  I thought this would be a good place to stop and gather some notes about where we are at and how it is working.

This post is right up the homeschool junkie's alley.  Lots of specific details about our right here, right now homeschooling.

(Note: I'm on easy street at the moment.  Homeschooling one 5 year old--labeled kindergartner, doing a lot of 1st grade work.  Managing toddler twins and trying to include them in as much as we can but also not stressing over a set of goals or curriculum for them just yet.)


+ Reading instruction 

Last year we worked through 100 Easy Lessons. This year we are working through Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading (lesson 109 as of today).  I did not like the Ordinary Parent's Guide the first time I attempted to use it. I think the poem used to teach vowel sounds is more overwhelming than it is helpful for a blossoming reader (and we actually lurve poetry here, so... yeah). I skipped that section. Everything else has been G O L D. It's extremely thorough. I'm a huge fan. We are on track to finish by May.

+ Language

We just started First Language Lessons this week, so I won't give my opinion yet. From what I can tell, it will fit our needs nicely.  We shall see. There are 100 lessons in this book. I'm aiming to complete this by end of year.

We started the year with a handful of poems to memorize. I eventually ditched that. Momma gut. It just didn't feel right to me.  I know just about every homeschooling family memorizes poetry. We will do that.  Just not now.  I'm starting right where we are at: 1. We already love it so we will keep reading lots and lots of it.  2. Building up a collection of resources.  My mom & dad gave us a little bit of money to use for homeschooling and we used it to buy, among a couple other things that were sitting on my Amazon wish list for forever, A Child's Book of Poems by Gyo Fujikawa.  Totally swooning over it.  I'm going to have "Little Things" memorized in no time.


+ Independent reading

Thomas declared a goal to read all of the Elephant & Piggie books. He has one left that we are waiting for from the library.  I keep beginner readers in our morning basket so that he always has quick access to those. It's my gentle nudge for more practice, but mostly he reads all the picture books we have in the sunroom (A LOT).  He reads everything though. He is really hitting a stride, and I'm amazed every single day at his growth.  He's starting to read comic books as well. I'm excited to see what he will be able to read by the end of the year, but I feel very confident that no matter what we do--he'll be fine.

+ Read aloud stuff

I'm a little sad that our read aloud experience isn't the same as when Thomas was 4 and I would read him to sleep every day. It was so lovely and I have so many fond memories.  RIP Thomas's naps.

But we have to be true to our season and so that's how it is.  Now our read aloud time looks like this: We put the twins to bed.  I clean up the kitchen a little. Thomas plays with Lego on my bedroom floor and I read to him from my bed.  [No, we don't include the twins in read aloud time right now. We will eventually. We did last year and it pretty much felt like a pot of boiling water with a lid on top. Right now we just read lots of picture books to them and poetry too.]  So far this year we've read The Green Ember, My Father's Dragon, and Hoot. I'm really, really wanting to start the Chronicles of Narnia series. Too soon?


+ Our picture books goal

I made a goal to read 1000 picture books this year.  This experience has been awesome. We are behind a touch, but I still think we can still do it by the end of the year. I've been taking all sorts of notes about the books we read.  There have been some really awesome ones, and I've grown to love children's lit in a whole new way.  We just signed Thomas up for a library card this week. Now we will be able to check out 100 books rather than only 50 at a time. True sign of a homeschooling family. One library card does not cut it anymore.



+ Handwriting

Thomas flew through the kindergarten level of the Zaner-Bloser book. He's about a sixth of the way through the 1st grade ZB book now. He told someone this past week that handwriting is his favorite thing to do for school. However, he also told a man in Walmart two weeks ago that his favorite part of school is the breaks. I'm sure the guy thought we were really hitting the books hard... or hardly.  Next semester I'll have him to a bit of copy work from either The Harp & Laurel Wreath or other bits of beautiful language and wise words I've collected.

+ Math

We are making our way through the 1st grade Saxon curriculum.  I was slow to warm up to the Saxon program, but I'm seeing how the spiral method is so good for Thomas.  I still think that a great teacher can make almost any resource shine. However, I give Saxon two thumbs up so far.  We also started Life of Fred this week <heart eyes>, and Thomas and I have really enjoyed it. It's a world apart from Saxon, so I think it's a great way to switch things up. I also set Thomas up on Kahn Academy and let him practice there every once in a while.  I think it's great for him to see math in different formats to reinforce what he learns primarily with the Saxon materials.


+ History

This year we've read the 1st Story of the World (The Ancients) book. We are about halfway through the 2nd book about the Middle Ages. We read 2-3 picture books a week that are either on the topics we are reading with the SOTW book (castles, the feudal system, Marco Polo, etc.) or are just social studies/history books in general.  We plan on taking a trip to D.C. next year for our family vacation. I'm rolling around in my head how we can utilize homeschool to really prime Thomas (and the twins??) for all the awesome things we will see.


+ Science

We read 3-5 science picture books a week.  We look through a lot of science materials we have on hand (children's encyclopedia and other science reference books).  We do *some* science experiments when I have extra time.  I love that we are learning oodles. I do not love that we are not doing it in an organized manner or even just recording it in an organized manner.  Even though reading & math (in my opinion) trump science education at this age by far, I still want to be a bit more orderly in the way we approach things.  Working on it.


+ Art

We manage about 1 formal art lesson a week. I have him practice simple concepts related to art, complete different activities with materials that are more open ended, or we imitate the art of someone else.  Last week we just painted together.  About a third of the art we complete is just that. It's art that has a natural purpose and prompting to it, and isn't set up as a structured activity.

+ Music 

We could definitely do better with this.  We sing lots of songs with the twins, listen to lots of classical and international music, and read (as with everything else) some picture books that are music related. I just listened to Pam Barnhill's Morning Basket podcast about music appreciation, and that was very helpful.  It's time we beefed up this area of learning.


+ Other Stuff

We do a lot of learning in the kitchen. Thomas cooks with me several times a week. We work on communication skills with a lot of intention (Thomas loves to talk, but we are both working a lot on listening right now). We also practice a lot of practical life skills-- everything from manners to matching socks to fixing things around the house.  I realize every mom does this, but I am noting it. I think it's just as important as phonics and subtracting numbers, and I would like to give even more thought and planning to this area of our schooling.

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Oh gosh. I've barely made a dent into what I was going to type. Maybe I will do another post on all the other stuff about homeschooling: ordering our home and day, finding balance, where we are headed, the fulfillment I've found, the stuff I'm working on and thinking about, my observations on the learning process, and so forth.  I have tons and tons I could say.

Any questions for me on the nitty-gritty stuff? Anything I left out that you want to know? Ask me anything. And if you're homeschooling, how's it going?

Money making? Money saving? Or saving within the spending?

Women, no matter what their work schedule looks like, can feel overwhelmed and even guilt-ridden over how we save or make money. We talk about mommy guilt. Oh, the mommy guilt.  I think there's so many ways this can manifest for women.  One way though that is not as obvious as breast vs. bottle or home vs. day care is wrapped up in the choices about how we make or save money.  I want to detangle it from the rest. It's a guilt that is clouding up our big picture.

I don't thrift shop. My sister-in-law, Jessica, does and she's dang good at it.  She would be my go-to guide if and when I needed to dip into that resource. Not only is she good at it, but it brings her joy. That's the trick. Enjoying the way we provide or finding enjoyment in the ways we provide.  We chatted about that this past weekend when we spent an extended weekend in Alabama meeting brand new baby Grace & catching up with family.

The truth is I hate shopping.  I always have.  The only time I really found enjoyment in shopping was about a year ago when I would, after a week of watching my boys as well as my nephews (and especially weeks when Paul was also traveling), go to the mall on Friday night for a couple hours to walk around and feel like a grown-up again. That was fun, but it is definitely not my norm.  The soul suck is strong when I cross paths with a rack of clothes.

Those glorious day care days! :)

My norm is going without.  I've had the same coat for 7 years. I wore my shoes down so badly in college, my parents asked me to throw them away. Every year I tell myself I'm going to buy a pair of boots... and I don't.  There's a beautiful sense of savoring in that for me. I don't want things all at once in a mad rush. I don't even necessarily want them when I can afford them. I still want to wait. There's probably a curious subset of the population just like me--the waiters.

But it's not like I'm some amazing money saver just because I wait for a lot of things. There's other things I just buy outright. All I'm saying is that I know my strength.  I also know my weakness as well as my parameters.  That's me personally, but then there's something even bigger -- our family dynamic.

Paul and I are better at making money than saving money. And I actually here mean "the saving within the spending" kind of saving. Actually saving the money is not the problem. Actually making the money is not the problem. It's the "saving within the spending" that is not our strength.  We do okay.  We make a lot of homemade food.  We know when to catch good sales. We know you can stack savings.  We know sales loop around continuously. Our negotiating skills are okay. But it is actually not worth our time to toil hours and hours over how we purchase things.  We take on work better than we cut out coupons.

I feel like there's scandal in that--to say that our family identity is more closely aligned in making money than in the saving within the spending of the money. It shouldn't be that way though.  There's honor in all forms of stewardship.

I'm so grateful that our generation is getting back to the roots. There are calls for less materialism and consumerism. There's a call to return home (read Homeward Bound!).  There's a call to do meaningful work. That's all good. But I feel we've thrown the baby out with the bath water.  We can't be all things.  Build up a home of DIY from A to Z and build a stocky career.  Or at least not the mom AND the dad.  This equation of do all the things just doesn't work.  You can't work 50 hours and brew your beer and mow your lawn and shop at 3 different stores to get the best deals on groceries and wash your diapers and clean your house and make that organic well-balanced meal.  You can't. So stop.

Stop telling yourself that if you finally get it together you are going to do all the things. You were not made to do all the things.  Your eyes are open and my eyes are open and we can see all the things because they are all over this screen. What your friend did for her kid's birthday. That Halloween costume another mom made. The food your friend keeps posting on Instagram.  Good for her. Not for you. Right? Can I get an Amen?

I'm not advocating being lazy or wasteful.  I'm not advocating sloughing off responsibility. I think there's so much reward in homemade pizza or dirt turned over by our own hands.  What I am saying is that each person can't be it all nor should they try.  They have to say no to a great many things to say yes to the either money making or money saving methods that help their family thrive.

Essentialism.  Honing in on that one thing. What's your one thing? Don't let all the other details drag you down.  If you find time for them--awesome. But if you don't? You're totally fine because you are doing your thing!

As women lean into supporting one another I hope we can respect those differences.  I hope we can see there is no shame in a woman working to make money just as there is no shame in a women sorting through hand-me-downs or baking bread.  We are all providing for our families. We are all, by our work that can look drastically different from our neighbors, friends and even mothers, clocking in so we can clock out for time with loved ones (today and/or maybe a tomorrow we are storing up for...)

We all have beautiful gifts that come alive and light up when we strike those things that both meet our purpose and give us delight too.  It might be in homeschooling or in working part-time or in being an independent seller or being a freaking hawk of a buyer at the grocery store or in slipping into those slacks each day and driving into work.

I'm going to be thinking more on this too. I'm going to think about what I do that helps make or save money for my family. I'm going to think about opportunities that I need to explore and be open-minded t
o. But I'm also going to choose peace that my family and the way we run our finances and make the numbers work for us is just as unique as the next family. There is no better. Just good stewardship in different forms. Saying no to some things. Saying a big yes to others. But living with a focus on providing in the way we've set out to do.

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How do you save or make money?  What is your personal strength? Where would you like to grow in how you spend, save, or make money? Chat with me in the com box down below! 

How you can utilize quarters to frame your personal life

This year I've dabbled with personal quarters, and I'm excited to use them next year with even more intention. Personal quarters are time-wise aligned with tax quarters or fiscal quarters, but for the purpose of your growth, individually. 

1st quarter: January - March

2nd quarter:  April - June

3rd quarter: July - September

4th quarter: October - December 

I've done an imperfect job this year of trying on the personal quarter. Regardless, I've really enjoyed the new perspective. 90 days is that sweet spot.  It is enough time to get big things accomplished, but it isn't so little time (like a month) where stopping to plan and reflect gets in the way of actually doing the work.

Here's a specific illustration of how the use of personal quarters helped me this year. My 3rd quarter was very medical.  We had ER visits that led to the boys' diagnosis of hemophilia. I had a lot to learn. Essentially, think crash course in hemophilia. There were numerous, numerous long conversations with specialists, our pediatrician, our at-home nurse, and our insurance company. I walked through a bit of the grieving process to readjust expectations and let my momma heart breathe.

Then, I was looking at the last three months of the year & felt joy. I've become accustomed to new starts every three months.  I was able to frame July, August, & September around this positive sense of learning lots about my boys and hemophilia, something waiting in them for two years for us to discover.  Even though that aspect of our lives is not neatly tied up and put away, there won't be the same intensity with which we had in this specific chunk of months. I was able to start October fresh & joyful.  I was able to look forward and not feel stuck, to readjust and feel renewed to keep going.

That's why I love stopping every 3 months to pull everything back together to rewrite the plan. It makes room for the unexpected, but also helps me remember not to get distracted from my original intentions.

Here are some ways you could use the personal quarter framework for you. Pick and choose what you want:

1.  Use a personal quarterly review guide.  You are welcome to use this one that I created. (I modified it from something I found on another site and as soon as I find that site I'll give her due credit here.) You also could create a simple one for yourself that's essentially directed at reviewing the previous quarter and planning for the quarter ahead.  I get such a sense of pleasure in taking pen to paper, but you can also walk through these questions with mind maps or talking through them with someone else.

2. Block out a 2 - 3 hour chunk of alone time to think.  Journal at Panera. Go on a long hike. If you are in a survival season, maybe just a super long soak in the bathtub, candles lit and lights dim. Just pick your flavor of whatever that will allow you space from everyday life and especially that long to do list.  This is time to think big picture.  Replay scenes from the last three months. What did you feel? What did you learn? Now visualize what you want the next three months to look like, to feel like. Are there things in your value system that need fed? You don't have to write down a single thing to make use out of personal quarters. Sometimes the best growth happens when we stop to be still and listen.

3. Retool the budget. Where our money goes is a good indication of our values.  Security. Friendships. Time with family. Flashy, nice things. Freedom.  It will show up in the numbers, so updating a budget also serves as a way of thinking about your value system as well.  Then there's changes. Salary changes. Changes in family size. A notice that your mortgage bill went down. New opportunities that cost or bring in more money. Just on a practical level, I've found updating (as in actually revisiting what amount we are allowing for each area, not in making sure the numbers are accurate) the budget every three months is the most realistic.    *I would love to share how we use our online bank, Simple, to budget (it's flipping awesome--the best!), but I need to figure out how to do that tech-wise and if there's any interest, so let me know if that's something you would like to see.

4. Celebrate! If you don't take time to acknowledge the great things that you accomplished or ways in which you grew, you are robbing yourself of extra energy to take on even more.  I've found celebrating insights, new skills, and achievements to give me both gratitude and contentment. It isn't all about being goal driven. It's about seeing that life is both good and bad and that there is always good to be recognized. Life will go on. There will always be difficult things. We should take time to savor the good things too! Date night. A special, related purchase. A bottle of wine and a special meal made side by side at home with your husband. Stop, celebrate and be glad.

5. Keep it simple with answering this one statement-- "I need____________________"
How would you finish that statement? For me, right now, I need everything in its place in our home. That's why I'm reorganizing all the spaces in our house for my 4th quarter.  This need was really "highlighted" as soon as we started homeschooling.  What this statement really delivers is tackling your biggest problem.  If you can take on your big problem, other things will fall into place as a benefit.  Do you need to feel healthier? Do you need to have more time? Do you need to reconnect with your spouse? Do you need to feel happier at work?

Now answer this question: What needs to be true in order for _____________________ ?
 & fill in your need. Ex: What needs to be true in order for us to feel peace in our home? What needs to be true in order for me to have time to be creative? What needs to be true in order for me to get a promotion?

How do you set goals? Do you set monthly, quarterly or yearly goals? Have you every tried to use some version of personal quarters?