A few notes about reading with small kids

Thomas was about 3 when I asked one of my co-workers how he was going to learn how to read. How would I get him there?  She had met Thomas and knew what I meant. Curious boy. Lots of questions. She said, "Read and read and read to him. Then read more and then some more. And he will learn how to read."

When no one is looking, I will type hopelessly personal questions into Google as if he is a magic 8 ball of succinct answers. I'm always disappointed when Paul's father's day present doesn't pop up and instead I've got 10,871 articles that are "helpful".  When my co-worker (brilliant co-worker, btw), suggested I should just read to Thomas a ton, I was a little disappointed.  Where's my easy, no-fail 17 step system to teach him to read?

But she was absolutely, absolutely right. Bathe in reading. Delight in reading. Max out the library card. Bring a laundry basket to the library to fill. Tell the kids to stop playing in the laundry basket because "no, kids. not for playing. we are putting books in this thing because I was told reading so much that I never get to the laundry does magical things to children's brains."

But as far as going beyond the laundry basket [and bins and shelves and waves of books], here are the things we have learned and tried to practice along the way.

1. There are bad books. Kick them out. A "bad book" is one you keep hiding because if your sweetie pie asks you to read it again you may just melt into the couch from boredom. A "bad book" is one that your husband comes to you about and says, "hey, I read that book about Valentine's Day to Thomas. Have you read that thing? It is the dumbest thing I have ever read. No, really. It is really, really terrible."  A "bad book" is one that requires you to not only read but also manipulate things in the book like some sort of freakin mechanic, still thinks Pluto is the real deal, or that makes too many potty jokes because it knows its audience is boys and boys like potty jokes (which they do so very, very, very, very, very, very much but c'mon!).  

2. When you are annoyed that your child wants to learn how to read, teach him to read. This way he has the independence to read and you can listen to him read every sign, billboard, and building name on the street from the back seat of the car, and he can say "woah. slow down, mom. I needed to read that!" and be very confused by acronyms. This is not dissimilar from being excited that you have [insert smug look] taught little Junior to go to the potty and switched over immediately to living in fear for years that he will have accidents in public and destroy your life. 

3. Never bribe your kids. But also bribe them with books. I read an excellent book about how incentives and rewards deeply damage children. No joke!  But to get through the reading instruction book, I gave Thomas a "surprise" every ten lessons and when I say a surprise I mean a book. Hey. Don't judge. Okay, judge. It's not because he wasn't motivated. It's because I needed him to be a little more motivated. Momma's got some laundry to not fold. 

4. Stop pretending you are too cool for children's books.  Thomas might be a little concerned about who his mom really is, or if she ever really was smart enough to hold a real job like his dad and mom keep insisting. And this is because last year I learned so many things from picture books.  "Wow. I didn't know that." comes off my tongue pretty easily. Last year I learned about planets, cultures, countries, castles, pirates, all sorts of famous people and that eels can climb up waterfalls. I'm still thinking about those eels. 

5. Read your own even better stuff near the kid. Then engage in a fun game of intellectual roulette where you subtly entice your blossoming reader (quiet laughs or "hmm"s help) to ask you what you are reading. Respond back, "oh this thing? You wouldn't be interested. It's an adult book." to which they will insist they are interested. I've read all sorts of things aloud to Thomas that were near to totally inappropriate, but it was worth the game of seeing if he could understand any of it.  Which maybe is not a page right out of Parenting Like You Mean It, but I like to spice things up.  Thomas still talks about Rhett coming to rescue the ladies and the Yankees burning down Atlanta. That's a win in my book, Parenting for Fun!

January Reads

I'm breaking my strict no-blogging-while-kids-are-awake policy to throw up an underwhelming post about the few things I read in January.  I can't go to the bathroom without chaos & calamity all but setting my house aflame care of three sweet boys named seenoevil, speaknoevil, and hearnoevil (middle name dotheevil for each of them), so blogging whilst the children are awake should be interesting. Stay tuned.

So, fun lame story... I kept talking big game like I read a lot of great stuff last year.  And then at the beginning of January I looked on Goodreads at all of what I read in 2014, and it amounted to funny memoirs, Walking Dead comics, and a few classics which I was embarrassed for having not yet read. Whoops.

Message received.  I was more intentional about Thomas's reading than I was about my own.  Of course, considering it was a year of recovering from baby twins, funny fluff was welcomed with arms open and beer fresh out the can and in a tall glass.

So I'm thinking just a bit more about what I commit my time to this year when I am sneaking away from the family and running away with my secret lover, Allthebooks.

No worries yet.  Kids are "shooting" each other with multiple Lincoln logs at once.  Onward.

For my eyes only...mostly:

1. Rich Dad, Poor Dad

     I wish I could say I knew everything that was in this book before reading it, but no.  My middle class background shines through and through, so explanation of financial concepts familiar to the rich did have me scratching my head a teeny tiny bit.  No, it wasn't tough to understand, just tough to swallow that there is a much, much different way and that I've largely been oblivious.  The writing is mediocre.  The concept novel enough.  The advice and explanations easy to whip through in a few days or less.  Author = likable (and that counts for something!)

2. Teaching from Rest: A Homeschooler's Guide to Unshakable Peace

     I love Sarah Mackenzie.  She's a wealth of generosity for those taking an active role in the teaching of their children, homeschooling or not.  Her podcast, The Read Aloud Revival, is one of my absolute favorites.  Her bubbly joy of reading and her strong convictions are severely contagious.  This book was everything I read online that it would be: a warm cup of tea, the encouragement homeschoolers need, a friend welcoming you in to set you straight, with love.  However, I was just a bit bummed that it was so very, very short.  I think my disappointment is a compliment though to the value of what Sarah brings to the table.

3.  The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything

     Ah, so that's what Jesuits are about! I kid, mostly.  Martin does a marvelous job of being hospitality to all readers; the book is much more about you than it is the Jesuits or even Catholicism.  There have been times in my life where I wanted a specific, magical guide.  Namely, when I was a first year teacher or when I transitioned to staying at home.  I wanted to google "guide for ____", order it, read it, and have the answers for what to do next and feel good about it in the process.  Tada! Enter the Catholic version of such a book.  [Or at least the most useful and yet meaningful one I've ever read].  This definitely won't be the last book I read by Martin.

4.  Gone with the Wind  [.... still working on it & I blame all the painting projects I took on this month.]

    I've been meaning to read this for the longest time and so glad that I finally have it in my hands.  Last week Paul traveled and I let Thomas's bedtime stretch later so I had someone to talk to even if it was the random smatterings of an imaginative 4 year old.  He asked me to read the book to him every time he saw it in my hands, and my reward was being asked a lot of questions about the Yankees coming to Springfield, MO.
 
    After a long passage about Sherman's impending fiery takeover of Atlanta and Prissy's wild incompetence,  Thomas declared, "Mom, Rhett Butler better hurry and get to Scarlett and Melanie and get there quick.  The Yankees are coming and he's their only hope!"  Very cool.  He listens.  Looks like he can join in on my adult reads anytime he wants as long as I'm awake enough for a bit of creative editing.

  I love the interplay between books and movies.  It's far too simplistic to say that books are better than movies.  Often directors envision something better than what we had in our mind's eye.  Sometimes the visual symbolism offered in a movie is so incredible as a beautiful complement to the original source, a book every bit as brilliant in its own medium.  However, the symbolism of the South pre and post war bound up in the characters and their differences was lost on me in the movie in contrast to how Mitchell weaves it together in the book.  Ah, so good.

Kid update:  Thomas has been "guided" to the sunroom.  Emerick is using all his brainy bits to open (unsuccessfully) baby lotion bottles..."c'mon, mom. winter skin!" And Alistair is feverishly wrapping towels around a table's legs and yelling yay for his curious accomplishment.  Interesting but safe enough. Continuing.

And for the kids:

Let's roll through this quick.  But first, I want to tell you that Thomas woke up from a nap a couple weeks ago and the first thing he said was, "Mom, would you like to go on a date... with me.. to Barnes & Noble tonight?" It was the sweetest thing, but not the sweetest thing ever.  That was when he went up to the Starbucks counter and said he was buying a coffee for me with his own money and then proceeded to dig in his pocket for the money for a fat minute.  Adorable.

1.  the 1st & 2nd Unfortunate Events books ... generously loaned from my little sister, Amanda, who isn't so little but still has these awesome books in her possession from when she was

    These books are great for Thomas for so many reasons right now.  He's been going through a developmental interest about death for the last six months, and I think that the way death is handled in this book is healthy for kids.  In addition, I like that the ongoing themes of unfairness and misfortune are so overt and that the smart, small actions of the characters are ultimately rewarded.

2. the 1st Boxcar Children book

    Woah.  Paul and I read these when we were kids, but I was amazed at how different it was than what I remembered.  I'm not sure if we will read more in this direction.  The language and vocabulary was a big dip below meh.  However, I would definitely recommend these to Thomas in a few years when he is needing the reading volume to practice and reach greater proficiency and confidence.

3.  Where the Sidewalk Ends

   We just started reading poetry at lunch and the kids enjoy it.  I can't overemphasize the increased effectiveness of reading to toddler twins who are STRAPPED INTO A CHAIR. Yeah. I read this book to Thomas so much last year that I'm surprised I can't recite it at this point.  I'm ready to spring for another poetry book and my money is on a Prelutsky collection that we checked out from the library four times last year.

4.  a couple more that we started but you will have to wait on the edge of your seat to hear about
     until the end of February because we all have nothingnothingnothingnothing to do or think about on a Monday morning when our to do lists are one mile plus a hundred long.

I love book recommendations.  If you have something in mind that you think I might like, let me know in the com box below.  And if you have any questions, considering my limited and shallow reading history, about the books I have read or would recommend, feel free to ask that too and I will do my best to help a dear friend out. 

xoxox,
Ash

Our Favorite New-To-Us Children's & Chapter Book Reads of 2014

Paul and I will be doing our mostly online & hassle-free Christmas shopping very soon.  We are more interested in putting quality items in the hands of our kids than in rushing out for sales. (Not that you can't do both--we just haven't quite harnessed that superpower yet.) Today, I want to share with you books that we've read and fallen in love with this year, so that if you are also wanting to do some easy shopping online, you could find a few guaranteed wins promoted here.

And you know I really care about these books because I'm not an Amazon affiliate & make no money whatsoever by directing you to these books. In fact, I will be losing the money I could be making by missing time for my indulgent online poker habit. Just kidding. I don't do that. Yet.

These are books that, had I known what treasures they were, I would have bought them much earlier in my fancy mom career. I'll give you a little insight into each book & maybe you can pop into a comment box and share one of your favorite children's or chapter book favorites to help us along in our Christmas shopping.

1. Extra Yarn

 The kids were given this book as a gift, and then we gifted copies to a couple other friends throughout the year.

This book has one of my favorite messages of any children's book I've ever read and I think the conclusion is just is the best. Oh, and the illustrations are reason enough to turn these pages over and over again.

2. Little Bear

I bought this book for Thomas because he has worked through the first 3 Bob book sets and a good chunk of his reading lessons. I thought it would be good to invest in a few of those typically boring beginning reader books, but this is not boring. It's sweet and it's timeless.

If a beginning reader book is well-written enough that Momma Bear doesn't mind reading it two days (or five days) in a row, it's a win in my book.

3. A Sick Day for Amos McGee

This book reminds me of Blueberries for Sal in that you read it once and wonder what the hype is about.  It's with multiple reads that the subtleties in the art and the story wrap you up and warm you like a big blanket and a warm cup of tea on...yep...a sick day.

A great book to show all of us what being a good friend looks like.

4. The One & Only Ivan

I'll admit that this book is a little heavy handed in its pull on your heart. However, it works as a game changer that has some grit and sometimes that's what we should be sharing with our kids.

Suited for kids a little bit older than Thomas, it does the trick in stirring up empathy & making us question the warped conditions we place upon animals in the name of cheap entertainment.  It ruined some things for me in that sense, but I'm okay with that.

5. Winnie-the-Pooh

I've put dozens and dozens of books on hold at the library, and I waited the longest for this jewel right here.

Winnie-the-Pooh is that reading gem so close under our nose, we don't see it.

Hands down, everyone should have this book in their house, and here's why. It is all the charm and wonder and imaginative characterization you already know to expect, but stuffed with nuances the adult reader can enjoy while the child beside is happy just smiling at Pooh's amusing adventures.

6. Paddle-to-the-Sea

Gah. I've been talking about this book all year.  Can I say OMG about a children's book? Because ohemgee. This book was written for my soul.  The concept---YES! The education---YES! The illustrations--YES! And my absolute favorite---the langauge.

Another reason I'm so crazy about this book is that it stretches beyond a particular age group, which is so wonderful when everything in your soul is telling you that one more reading of Go Dog Go would be absolute torture.

7. The Little House

Just like everyone should have a wonderful sleepy-time book (Goodnight, Goodnight, Construction Site!), I feel everyone should have a book that draws us into thinking about the seasons, time, changes and how we fit into all of that.

This is a simple, no-frills book that nudges us to think of what is good and beautiful.


8. The BFG

This year we read a good chunk of Dahl's work: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, the BFG, and Matilda.  Thomas's Uncle Stephen recommended the BFG to him, and I had low expectations.

However, this book made us think & therefore have some great conversation (which is awesome), but it had Thomas in stitches several times (which is even more awesome).  It was, by far, the funniest book (to him) that we read all year. He asked me to reread a passage 3 times, so he could keep laughing. I mean, how could I not put it on our list?

9. The Tale of Despereaux

This is just the kind of chapter book I've been searching for my 4 year old all year:

Some illustrations. Check.
Beautiful language. Check.
Meaningful themes. Check.
And still holds the attention & interest of the kiddo. Big check.

:  :  :  :  :

Wow. That was so much fun to type up because it brought back so many memories of snuggling up with Thomas or reading to all the boys in their room.  Right now they're ALL banging with wooden puzzles pieces on the fireplace while I finish this post, so pretty much the complete opposite of the sweet, soft memories I was bringing back up in my mind. :/

This year was good and difficult and a hurricane of all kinds of things.  In a lot of ways it was a big mess. I mean, twins. Do I need to say more? Walking twins! Climbing twins! Boy twins who bust their lips or bang their heads every other day! Twins who can't yet tell me all the things!

Anyway, there may be a lot of things from this year I didn't get checked off the master list or tackled like they should have been, but it was the first year that the boys and I read voraciously in all sorts of ways and for those sweet memories, I'm so grateful.

I would very, very much love it if you let me know a book or two that you feel is a must for the family library. We just started building up ours a bit more intentionally this year, and so chances are that we haven't yet bought it, and I would love your recommendations!

She Works with Willing Hands

When I was in high school I was, at more than one point, fueled by some evangelization gleam I sought to tote.  I was quick to see how much greater our lives could be if we all reached this epic level of purity and holiness I had envisioned.


My mom didn't seem too keen on my notions of grandeur. Instead, she would remind me to do the dishes. In fact, it went something like this: "You want to be a Christian? Do the dishes."  The snide remark would echo in my brain as an abhorred notion. How dare my mother corner me like that!


My mom also told me to thank God that I had the opportunity to clean; I had dishes to eat from - I should be happy to scrub them, I had clothes to wear - I should be happy to hang them, sort them, fold them. Yeah, I'm grateful mom. Whatever.


My siblings and I like to joke about the seemingly endless Saturdays of scrubbing, washing, folding, hanging, and so forth. It's our version of the "I-had-to-walk-to-school-uphill-both-ways-knee-deep-in-snow".  "I-had-to-wake-up-every-Saturday-without-fail-before-dawn-to-clean-until-I-became-emaciated-or-sick." I would moan, groan, and curse deep into the linoleum while my knees hardened into a numbed mess of floor cleaner. I would roll my eyes and grit my teeth when I heard we had another load to put outside on the ant and walking stick [Hello - FREAKY!] infested line. I would pray to God and ask for His mercy for whatever I had done to deserve a cruel, cruel mother.  And I swore to myself while furiously rubbing cleaner into the abysmal white of the shower I will NEVER do this to my poor children.


A few years later and hundreds of cycles of clean and dirty in my own home, I've had quite the conversion.


Beauty abounds in the home which is simply clean. Attentive love multiplies when household duties are taken care of in a fierce, organized, efficient manner.  And hard work, well, hard work is a great secret wonderment which sets our gratitude on fire.


These days I'm eager to wake up on Saturday [and Sunday] mornings to clean the stove [the one which whips up Chicken Cordon Bleu and Lasagna], scrub the tea kettle [the beauty that serves me wild berry tea and tricks me into being relatively calm during stressful conversations with my husband], detail the Medela breast pump and its dozens of parts and pieces [the bridge I couldn't currently live without], and spray the romper [which covers a ridiculously adorable bottom of my Bam Bam, my little guy, our Booter Binkie from the land of Stinky #2, my Boo Boo Coo Coo, our Thomas]... the one who just a few years from now will be cursing into the dirty grout he's scrubbing while I smile on with an affection and sense of humor he likely won't understand [for a while].


So, when I started reading Kimberly Hahn's Graced and Gifted: Biblical Wisdom for the Homemaker's Heart [or what I would like to think of as my current guidebook to being an awesome wife, mother, woman] and I saw that the first chapter was titled "She Works with Willing Hands", I thought to myself ...


Heck yes she does!