Small Thoughts

It's already mid-March. I'm not sure how that happened.

I'm popping in today because I feel like blogging once a month is pretty lame. Then again, who cares.    I'm in another blogging rut and that should come as a surprise to no one.  Every few months I'm so bogged down by the demands of motherhood and simply taking care of myself that I don't have the energy to assert myself in any way whatsoever, even as a blog post generously sprinkled with humor.

I set 7 resolutions for myself this year.  One of them was to write, on average, 500 words per day. Paul made me a document to add up my wordy efforts. I write in the mornings, in the dark when I can hear the birds trying their best to wake up the rest of my family. Three months I've been at this, and yet the result has been downright dismal.

And here's why. Three months of going above and beyond my word count goal and I have written nothing of substance.  I've got weeks' worth of small thoughts on money and fitness and homeschooling.  For years as a teacher I would ask my students to "free write." Really, I would say, write about anything. Anything at all. Just write. Even if you're writing that you don't have anything to write about.

As a result of such thinking (that all writing counts for something) my laptop now houses over 60 documents of bulleted notes on shallow subjects such as: how relieved I am to join the Y, what percentage of our mortgage payment goes toward our principle, and how I don't have anything to write about.

Well, whatever. I generally enjoy the blogs that have little for me to chew on. I'm mostly just glad to know how they're doing. I don't need big thoughts. Maybe you don't either.  So, here are some of the things that have been on my mind lately, superficial and skinny as they may be.

+  We are finally debt free (not counting mortgage). It's been a long and complicated journey to get here. The relief is immense.  I want to share more thoughts about some things we've learned and maybe I will. Regardless, we are extremely happy, happier than I think we envisioned for reaching this place. Tomorrow, we are buying a brand new Lexus 330. Psyche. Never happening.

+ I was doing the Whole 30. Last week (I'll blame daylight savings death) it was all crash & burn. Or at least, it felt like it.  They say get back on the horse. Well, I got back on the horse so many times the horse started rolling his eyes. And I didn't even know horses could do that.

+ Mommy friends are the best. I feel immensely grateful for my friends, grateful that I can be REAL and HONEST and all that good, messy stuff with them. I frantically reach out to my friend, Allison, to an unwelcome degree for speech path support. I picked my friend, Krista's, brain last weekend for teaching tips.  I text my sister, Andrea, all the time to keep things real. We text things like: "hey, Luke just puked again." and reply back with "that's cool. Thomas just pooped his pants." I don't know how many times I've asked my friend, Susanne, for twin mom help. Then there's Elaine who has a son almost the exact age as Thomas (God send, seriously) and we have the play dates that ACTUALLY WORK and then there's my friend, Natahle, who is quite possibly the most peaceful, comforting soul I've ever met. I've started this. Now I can't stop. My sister-in-law, Jessica, is truly the 1-mile-in-front-of-me cheerleading warrior. I'm leaving out a thousand people and you know who you are but also know I can barely remember to get shoes on my kids' feet, much less remember more than a handful of my friends in one sitting. (Moira, Margery, my two moms who tell me it IS going to be okay).  All I'm saying is this. Dang. I'm so grateful. I NEED these women. I NEED their help. I NEED their honesty. And I need to tell them how much I love them because I do. Also, not sure what they are getting on their end. Amusement maybe. Sense of relief to know a messy mommy in the flashy flesh.

+ I'm typing out on our back porch. Thomas just brought out my coffee, gestured like a butler with a hand of presentation, and said "Coffee for my lady?" When boys aren't getting into trouble or angry about something, they are so stinking sweet I can't take it.

+ We had a breakthrough today. I read two books on the couch. In a row. All three boys stayed seated. No one hit or bit each other. Life is good.

+ Paul is the best gift giver ever. It kind've makes me sick. But also happy to be on the receiving end. But mostly sick that I keep buying dumb things for him: socks, ties, gloves. (Those are real gifts that I've actually given him).  For Valentine's Day he bought me 3 month subscriptions for that Amazon unlimited books service (that's surely not the name...moving on) and Audible.  I'm almost done with my first Audible book, Unbroken. I really love being able to listen to a book when I take my morning walks.  Do you have any Audible suggestions?

+ I changed my laundry system. I used to allocate Mondays for laundry. Now I limit myself to washing & drying one load and sorting, folding, and putting away for no more than 30 minutes a day. Life. Changing. And just in case you had any doubts about the excitement factor of my fabulous life, you now know I get a buzz off of slight changes in how I do chores. Doubt no more, my friends.

+ I'll leave you with a Thomas quote.

I was looking at clothes in Kohl's when an older woman steps into the store and is going for a cart.

Thomas: [with great concern] "Oh, um, ma'am....ugh.... I believe you've lost a tooth... I think you've lost a tooth...from the teeth sector of your mouth."

Bam. Motherhood.