5 under 5

A lot of you know about what's been going on at my house. Some exciting stuff. Well, here it is:

I'll be watching my sister's twins for the next few months before they join in the day care at her workplace. (First part-time & then full-time) That's five boys under the age of five. 1 four year old I'm kinda sorta homeschooling right now. 2 toddlers that I'm transitioning to mostly free roaming the house and its goods. And 2 adorable babies for me to sleep train and make smile.

Andrea & I are both navigating new routines & challenges and sending sisterly check-up texts to each other.  When she was pumping earlier she wanted to know how things were going, so I went right over to her boys and snapped this

right as one of them let out a long, slow fart. (If I was talking to my kids, I would say toot. But, c'mon, I'm gonna give these Mueller boys some credit. It was a fart if I ever heard one.)

Then I located Alistair & Emerick and snapped this

right as Alistair (on the left) was filling his pants with what can only be described as liquid poop because it made a sound which struck that exact chord & Emerick was 3 hot seconds away from a time-out for touching the forbidden light (a lamp of irresistible toddler magnetism).

Then I found Thomas who had just two minutes earlier found a pb & j and exclaimed, "Is this pb & j for ME?!!!" like it was a gold bar to solidify his fortune... and so I caved and gave him the very expensive, very amazing treat (his 2nd for the day).

Yes, you're right. At this point in the day, 3 out of 3 of my kids aren't clothed.

His look here seems to suggest pondering his former life of fond memories and/or how all the noise in the background is quickly making for negative ones.

No, really. He loves Luke & Logan. Adores. He sings to them & even showed his brothers how to very, very carefully touch them --- which just tripped me out & back to when they were that size and I was praying he didn't jump on their faces. Not really, but yeah...pretty much.

Alistair & Emerick definitely LOVE the transition. I've let them loose in the house & haven't had the time or energy to have a series of mini heart attacks about it. I found them at the fireplace perched and swinging their legs like it was just the. coolest. place. ever. It reminded me of teenagers smoking in some covert place and loving their put-on intrigue. Yeah, you cool boys. You real cool.

Today was my 2nd go round as headmistress of the Anderson House of Boys and it went pretty well. However, it wasn't a walk in the park as evidenced by the following:

a. my trash can is nothing but a mound of diapers. I seriously mean it. It's the perfect setting to play "I Spy a Dozen Diapers Without Even Digging!!"

b. a half hour before pick-up (babies asleep) I stuck in ear buds and displayed my dancing interpretation of "wiggle, wiggle, wiggle" and "drop it, drop it low girl" and many other songs to my twins who looked both delighted and disturbed.

c. right before writing this post I shouted into the void sun room, "I NEED CHOCOLATE!" and the universe answered back dressed as a 4 year old pushing his brothers around in plastic tubs, "Mom, you can't have chocolate until you've cleaned. Chocolate is a treat.... Your room is a mess. We do work first before treating ourselves."

Exactly.

They look like they would escape if they had the muscle control.  Smile, boys!

Thomas Talks

I do not write down what Thomas says often enough. For us, it's a real mixed bag. Some things Thomas says are interesting & very smart. Other things...well, I'm left either scratching my head or just laughing because he can be so random. Here are a few nuggets from the last few weeks.

After overhearing me talk about my sister's wedding shower on the phone

Thomas: What’s a wedding shower?

Ashley: “Oh, it’s where we shower someone with gifts.”

T: “Oh, I know the perfect thing you can give Amanda!”

A: “Yeah?”

T: “Yeah, your shower head. Just unscrew it and wrap it up and you can buy a new one sometime soon when we go to Target.”

Thomas: Would you mind lifting me onto the bed? I can’t climb up because my hands are unavailable.

Ashley: Okaaaaaaay

T: Wanna hear a joke?

A: Sure

T: Why did the booger cross the road?

A: Why?

T: Because he got run over by a truck.

A: That makes no sense.

T: It’s a joke. Laugh.

A: [fake laugh]

T: See! It’s funny.

The real deal. True life: I've got 3 kids.

Thomas: [staring at me…]

Ashley: What?

T: I see more of those dead hairs Daddy was talking about.

After seeing me struggle significantly while assembling his bike

Thomas: [puts hand on my shoulder] I hate to say this….but I don’t think you’ll ever learn how to build this.

An hour later when I'm still assembling the bike

Thomas: Okay. How are you doing here? Are you ok? This is difficult for you, isn't it?

His photography skills are just as developed as his joke telling. 

Thomas: “Okay. I’ve got a game. It’s called Penis.”

Ashley:

T: “1st question: Do girls have a penis?”

Thomas is playing with his Legos & talking to himself while I sit on the couch & read

Thomas: "Oh. I said shit. I'm not supposed to say shit. Shit's a bad word. Sorry I said that mom. I won't say shit again."

Ashley:

Thomas: “Is today Boston?”

Ashley: “What?”

T: “Is today Boston?”

A: “Are you asking what day of the week it is? Boston is a city. Today is Wednesday.”

T: “Ah, Wednesday. Correct.”

Thomas: “Mom, would you let me in the sun room please?”

Ashley: “Sure” [opens gate to Alistair & Emerick excited to play with their big brother]

“Be kind.”

T: “Oh, I will. I won’t even try to hurt them.”

In the car & Alistair is making happy baby noises

Thomas: “Alistair is talking back here.”

Ashley: “That’s right. He’ll be saying words soon.”

T: “Hey. He just said boob. He said boob!

A: “Oh?”

T: “Oh, we’re not talking about your boobs. We don’t talk about women’s boobs. That would be very wrong.”